I have spent the majority of my life struggling with five pounds. If I can just lose 5 lbs my life will be better. I can’t believe I gained another 5 lbs. If my newborn falls below 5 lbs he won’t leave the hospital. Five pounds have always had such an impact on my life. For many people, the only impact 5 lbs have on them is in their jeans. When it comes to your jeans those 5 lbs can be the difference between a screaming button and being able to sit comfortably the entire day. So many overweight people get annoyed when a thinner person says they need to lose weight. Whether you need to lose 5 pounds, 10 pounds or even 100 pounds, if you are carrying around extra weight and you are uncomfortable with it on your body, than it is huge. Five simple pounds have often been the difference between success and failure for me.
In my new “fit” life, five pounds is still weighing heavily on me. A month ago I was lifting 55 lbs for a clean and jerk. It didn’t seem that heavy and I could lift it fairly easily. A few weeks ago in a moment of grand trickery, Super Coach Tony put an extra 10 lbs and then another 20 lbs on my bar and would not accept no from me. He knew I would lift it and pushed and encouraged me until I believed I could. I lifted those 85lbs, 100 times in a WOD with a 29:59 time. One of the things I struggle with is lifting more weigh and going slower or lifting less and working through the WOD quicker. I don't mind coming in last (I’ve perfected the skill) but too much weight can mean ending a good 4-5 minutes after everyone else.
Last week I set a new PR (personal record) with a 95 clean and jerk. I could clean the 100 lbs but just couldn't lift it over my head. I was crushed by 5 lbs. The first few tries were definitely mental; I got in my own way. After that I was just exhausted and couldn't do it.
Today I was going to beat those 5 lbs. I started at 75 lbs just to build up the weight and momentum. Easy.
85. A little harder but still ok.
95. Easy enough clean and a nice jerk.
100. Cleaned and Jerked! I got that bitch over my head…twice!
105. Feeling cocky. Fail. Walk away from it. Rest. Constructive criticism/supportive coaching from Elayne…it's only heavy in my head I tried to convince myself.
105. Cleaned. Attempted jerk. Fail. Rest.
105. Walked up to the bar. Cleaned the 100 lbs. Racked it on my shoulders. Took a deep breath and….wait for it…..Fail.
I was crushed by 5 lbs once again. I was disappointed. Why are 5 pounds always getting in my way? I was really discouraged, completely disappointed in myself. Before I could inflict any more mental abuse on myself, Uber-coach Elayne reminded me that I went in specifically to get to 100 lbs and I did. Not only was I able to lift the 100 lbs but I got it over my head, on my first try. In one month I have increased my clean and jerk by 50 lbs. If Tony hadn't pushed me I would still be lifting far less weight. Success.
I could have jerked the 105 lbs but I got in my own way. When it comes to weight, in all contexts, I always do. The mental weight of five pounds far outways the physical weight of five pounds. The difference this time, I won’t back down. Next week 105 lbs. Next month 125 lbs. 150 by the end of the summer. I am going to get this done, fat to fit, 5 lbs at a time.
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